“Ask you what, Lord?”
“Ask Me for Ana Grace and I will give her to you.”
I was headed home, silently riding in the car when God spoke. I still remember the intersection where I was sitting when He told me to ask. Stunned, I sat in silence for a moment.
Darrell was at home with our other four: Bethany, then 10, Bailey, 7, Isaac, 4 and Ethan a little over a year old made our family complete. Darrell and I had four children; two boys and two girls, an even number, that was always the plan. Now, God was asking me to ask for another one. Darrell was busy trying to launch his own company as a home builder and general contractor. With much hope and determination we knew God was in the middle of turning our family in a new direction, but boy was it HARD!!! Now, He wanted me to add another child to the mix.
I thought this is a name I have never heard, was there someone else we were to invite into our already complete family. I sat and stared at the red light, “Okay Lord, will You give me Ana Grace?”
”Yes”, was all I heard.
When I arrived home I sat looking at the picture of our four children. I muttered something to Darrell about someone missing as I pondered the seed God had planted in my heart. Soon after, I told him of the conversation God and I had at the red light. Darrell was quick to respond, “Let’s go!! If God wants more, we will give Him more!” I was a little taken back thinking I had not even begun to potty train our baby, was I really ready for another one so soon? I guess God thought so because within weeks I was again pregnant with baby #5, ANA GRACE was on her way!!
Ana means “grace” and Grace means “grace” – so this was our double portion of grace, grace upon grace. We had just stepped out into something new and grace was taking on a whole new meaning to us individually and as a family. Our wilderness season was difficult and grace was exactly what we needed more of!!
2004 was a year of uncertainty and by December of that year I was almost 5 months pregnant and Darrell was headed for a job in Florida. Once again the questions surfaced. Would we transfer? Would he commute? Would this be a job that would last or short lived? Still awaiting Ana’s arrival, Darrell lived in Florida while the rest of us held down the home front. I was needing extra doses of grace, single parenting, homeschooling and pregnant all while wondering if we were going to be able to pay the bills.
No sonograms, no confirmation that this was Ana, but a word from God and knowledge that He does what He declares. About three weeks before my due date, I heard the Lord speak. “Prepare for Noah Ray.” WHAT? I was prepared for Ana Grace, there was no way this was Noah Ray. I told Darrell and he advised me to not waiver in my faith but to stand strong on the word the Lord originally spoke. But, it was sure hard not to allow my faith to br compromised. April arrived and it was time for Ana Grace to show herself on the scene. About two weeks late, the time was here. My first delivery at home, my first experience with a mid-wife and no epidural, this was not my 1st choice!!
About 9 PM that night a 9lb 10 oz. Noah Ray made his way into this world. Delighted to hold my new baby boy, I was in total shock. Unsure I had heard God, unsure I even knew His voice, I had to make some very real heart adjustments to the fact that He told me to ask, I asked, and He didn’t give us Ana Grace after all. Even though I fell in love with Noah Ray right away, his dimples stole my heart; it took several months for me to begin to trust in God again. I was filled with doubt, frustration and an overall sense that I had somehow been tricked. However, knowing the character of God, I knew there was more to the story than what I was actually feeling at the time.
Soon after having Noah, I realized that the 1st mention of God’s grace was in Genesis 6:8 – “But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.” God’s grace was found in the life of Noah, maybe I had not missed God so much after all, but could I really begin to “reason” this out? Somehow I knew this connected. God is in the detail!
Check out part 2 http://wp.me/pt1ER-35
Check out part 3 http://wp.me/pt1ER-3c
Check out part 4 http://wp.me/pt1ER-3m