You know the feeling of standing on the precipice of life and the fear that wells up inside you as you begin to lean forward not sure if you will fall headlong into the unknown or take a step back unable to move forward. Today is one of those days. A day where I would rather stay in the safe place and take a step backward than to take one more step calling me out into the unknown. Today is the day when I, like a three-year old, am CLINGING to my Father’s hand begging for Him not to let go, unable to move forward but knowing if I don’t I will again be faced with similar opportunity and once more have to face this feeling of fear.
The decision is mine, God won’t make me. My husband can’t force me. Like a stubborn two-year old, I can have the food on my plate but the will to eat comes from within. Am I hungry enough to take the first bite? Do I want freedom to move on into all the promises God has for me? Does my heart burn for the adventure He has set before me to live? Is the risk of success worth the pain and fear that is a part of the anticipation? How can something so wonderful bring about so much fear and torment? Where does this come from?
I think the fear of the unknown is a pretty common fear. The unknown is daunting because it makes us look at ourselves and see if we are capable of handling any crisis or emergency that might arise. Fear turns our eyes on ourselves and causes us to look at our abilities and decide if we have what it takes to be successful in our venture. It also causes us to look at those around us and decide if the risk is worth the price we may pay in popular opinion. I would like to think I am free of the opinions of others, and crossing of the 40 mark has helped in MANY areas of my life. But, there is still the pull when I take this leap off this very high cliff, trusting the bungee cord of God to make this free fall a fun and exciting adventure there are those on the side of the bridge saying, “What was she thinking?” or “I would NEVER do that,” or even “Doesn’t she realize that people are talking about her now?”
The Bible reminds us that God does not give us a “spirit of fear, but of peace, love and sound mind.” But fear still comes and tries to invade our peace-filled life. Funny, how sometimes it is the things of God that bring the most fear in our lives. Stepping out by faith is a risky endeavor and one I believe God delights in because to do so we must look fear in the face and get over ourselves long enough to see Him in the middle of it all. With my eyes on me and my abilities I will fall, but when I by faith turn my eyes on Him “who can keep you on your feet, standing tall in his bright presence, fresh and celebrating” (Jude 24 The Message) then I know He is the one making me able, He is the one handling the emergencies and silencing the opinions of others and I am just along for the ride!
The only way to overcome this fear is to ask God for the courage to face the unknown and trust Him with the results. It really isn’t about my ability to handle the circumstances or the emergencies, it isn’t about me being a capable woman and rising to the occasion, it isn’t even about what others may think about the danger or risk I will take. It is about trusting, taking a step and moving outside my comfort zone as I know He is holding to me with each step I take. I choose “not to be ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.” 2 Tim 1:12(NKJV)
Today, I will take that step of faith…tomorrow I will tell you the results!