“Close the book.”
“What do you mean, ‘close the book’? You already told me to turn off the music, I have already read my Bible and spent a couple of hours in prayer, close the book?”
What was God talking about, close the book? And yet, I heard it again.
“Close the book.” So, I closed the book.
“Now what?” I asked.
“Sit? Just sit? Don’t you want me to read more of my Bible or get back to praying?”
So I sat. I sat in the stillness and the quiet, I sat.
This particular weekend had come about because I was experiencing that “not feeling the love” tired, grumpy and slipping into an “I don’t care mode”. With that, my husband sent me off with a kiss and a prayer to go be alone … with God.
My time had been spent seeking and praying about the hurts in my heart – I began to receive healing for my wounds both spoken and implied, both real and counterfeit. I had spent two days bringing all my baggage to His mercy seat and feeling His love wash over me when I decided to take some time out to do some “work”: reading a book to help organize my school year when suddenly I began to feel restless and uneasy and then I heard Him say SIT!
After 30 minutes of sitting I once again grew restless so I went to the Word and looked up ‘quietness’ and He led me to Isaiah 30:15 (Amp) “For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. But you would not,” OUCH! Here I had made 30 minutes sitting and trying not to be distracted and He was showing me a time and a place He made the same offer to Israel but they would not –
This became a challenge – I was going to accept His offer for rest and strength but it came through quietness and confident trust – So for five hours I sat and I was.
Since that time I have made it a priority to take time each day to just be and from it I have received the gift of strength and rest.
On my return home, the same decisions, circumstances and difficulties awaited me but because I said,’ YES” to being and not just doing, I have found a renewed strength, a renewed trust and a confidence that He is with me right in the middle of it all
Along with the gift of being, God has given me the gift to live in the moment – to engage my husband in a heart to heart, to connect with my kids through dialogue and laughter, to see our trials as fleeting in the scope of eternity. I realized that after God has me sit, because of a stress filled year, I had begun to disengage, to hide and to retreat from life, people & opportunity and even my coming to the mercy seat and laying it all at His feet did not give me the ability to get back into the fight. But to sit in His presence and let the stillness of His Calm soothe my heart, soul and spirit gave me what I needed to get back out into the battle of life and let Him raise His banner of love over me