The morning of May8, 2009, when I woke up I did not know what kind of day I was in for – However, this story begins on Jan 3rd and leads up to today.
On Jan 3, Darrell went on his sabbatical and spent three days with the Lord, when he returned I left and spent three days alone with the Lord. Among the things he asked me to pray about one of them was about if we were to have another child. On my sabbatical the Lord woke me up in the middle of the night and told me I was going to be pregnant. Later in the day He told me I would be pregnant by April. So, I came home and told Darrell what the Lord had said, only to find out that God had told him there would be “No baby in 2009.”
We did not understand how these two words could be so diametrically opposed but they were – so we trusted God to sort it all out.
March 12th the Lord told me I had conceived, and by the end of the next week I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. We decided not to tell for a while and just let everything play out for a few weeks. We did tell the girls after about 2 weeks and they so patiently waited until we told family before they told their friends. On May 2, they talked me into telling our parents (I was waiting until Mother’s Day) and that day the news began to spread like wildfire. May 5th we posted on FB and they told all their school friends. I was 12 weeks pregnant – had already seen the midwife, everything was going along like normal.
After the busy tournament weekend April 30 – May 2nd, I began to spot but was not really worried as I had done that with Bailey as well. I told the Lord that if I miscarried then Darrell’s word about “no baby” was still not true, and mine was incomplete only telling me I was going to be pregnant by April.
My prenatal exam was scheduled for May 7th and we went in expecting to hear the heart beat, but with no heart beat found we decided to schedule a sonogram. The sonogram tech “just happened” to be in the office that day and he did have an available appt for later that day. I never hurt, I never cramped, and I never felt like I was “loosing” the baby. So, when we went in we did not know what we would find. The tech did the exam and toward the end he showed us the empty sac in my womb with “no baby” in it. I was pregnant by April and Darrell did hear God say, “No baby in ’09.” We do not know why this has happened or why God chose to play it out they way He did, but I do know that we both heard God, we both prophesied in part, God spoke and it happened – talk about the fear of the Lord.
I woke up this morning and my body began the cleansing process, if yesterday had not played out the way it had we would not have known that there was “no baby.” We did not miscarry; there was no baby to lose. However, I am still going through the postpartum hormonal stuff and ask you to forgive me if I was short with you, standoffish or just a little out of it. (I took 360 home instead of 183 thinking I had made my exit – only to have my kids wondering where on earth I was going!)
We have never experienced anything like this before, the loss is great and our hearts hurt from the hope that was deferred, but we all know that our God REDEEMS, HEALS & RESTORES! However that will look over time we will walk free of the pain and hurt and able to see His glory in this encounter.
We are going to spend the next few weeks retreating with the Lord, hibernating with our family and receiving some much needed rest and healing- this has taken a toll on us spiritually and emotionally. The one thing I do know is that God is a God of His word, He is faithful and true and NO MATTER WHAT – We choose to praise HIM!!